Ninja birds - seen in secret training facility

Controlling pests of bamboo

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fredgpops
Posts: 885
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 11:26 pm
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Location: plus 700ft in the Santa Cruz Mtns, 8 miles from the Pacific
35 miles S. of San Jose

Ninja birds - seen in secret training facility

Post by fredgpops »

These birds are trained to kill or scare anything that attacks your garden. Rent by the day or week.
GPS activated birds that will fly to your house. Keep kids and pets in-doors during their visit. Do not wear garments with animal pictures or any support of the NRA. Do not call out to them in english - they are trained in cantonese and may take offense. Do not try to extract anything that they swallow or clean up anything they throw up in your yard while they are on duty. Do not yell at them to "shut-up" at night. If they start building nests, use Ipod to reverse GPS immediately. The CIA has interest in these birds and will be monitoring them during their visit so use hand signals to communicate to loved ones. For pricing and a contract guidelines contact me asap.
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dudley
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Location: Eustis, Fl
zone 9a/b
right between too cold & not cold enough

Re: Ninja birds - seen in secret training facility

Post by dudley »

nothing like the first drink of the day! :drunken:
"Plants are people just like us"
ghmerrill
Posts: 1873
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2007 12:20 am
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Location: Kerby, OR
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Re: Ninja birds - seen in secret training facility

Post by ghmerrill »

fredgpops wrote:These birds are trained to kill or scare anything that attacks your garden. Rent by the day or week.
GPS activated birds that will fly to your house. Keep kids and pets in-doors during their visit. Do not wear garments with animal pictures or any support of the NRA. Do not call out to them in english - they are trained in cantonese and may take offense. Do not try to extract anything that they swallow or clean up anything they throw up in your yard while they are on duty. Do not yell at them to "shut-up" at night. If they start building nests, use Ipod to reverse GPS immediately. The CIA has interest in these birds and will be monitoring them during their visit so use hand signals to communicate to loved ones. For pricing and a contract guidelines contact me asap.
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kind of scary how they use those.... ring on the neck so they cant swallow fish over a certain size, then then the big fish, they make the bird throw up, and thats what the people eat... guess its pre warmed that way.....
fredgpops
Posts: 885
Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 11:26 pm
Location info: 0
Location: plus 700ft in the Santa Cruz Mtns, 8 miles from the Pacific
35 miles S. of San Jose

Re: Ninja birds - seen in secret training facility

Post by fredgpops »

Alas, Dudley caught me in my cups. Yes, the post came after 3 glasses of wine. Hey, I was stressed out. Took my 8 year old grandson on a safari tour of Elkhorn Slough. Sounded like great fun on the surface but turned out to be a 3 hour tour that only needed to be less than an hour. Had to deal with a bored kid and you know what kind of grief a bored 8 year kld can dish out. The slough is famous with birders as it's the resting place for several hundred species of birds during the winter migration. It's about 7 miles long and 7 ft deep at it's deepest locations. It's fed by fresh water springs but also gets salt water from the Pacific at higher tides. Mostly a place for critters to eat, sleep. and poop. The high point for me was a raft sea otters. See photo one.
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Even the seals were bored.
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Rgds
ghmerrill
Posts: 1873
Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2007 12:20 am
Location info: 26
Location: Kerby, OR
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Re: Ninja birds - seen in secret training facility

Post by ghmerrill »

The otters are spectacular... It would have been worth 3 hours just for them. Amazing that they still manage to hang on. We used to see river otter around here, but they are pretty much gone.
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